Homesickness

Yesterday was a rough day.  Aaron was very painful and on top of the pain has not been sleeping at night.  And when he does not sleep, I do not sleep.  It doesn't help that Abram insisted on bringing our feline over to the in-laws and she thinks that she needs to sleep on my chest.  But I suppose she knows that I have a cold and is trying to help.  Either that or she is trying to kill me. 

The hardest part of the healing process is not getting any sleep.  With that comes short tempers and losing it with the kids...which I did last night...in front of the mother-in-law.  I felt terrible but I had had it with whining and using naughty words.  All moms, I know, lose their tempers with their children.  Patience is gone by the end of the day.  I did not yell or lash out, but their mind state is so fragile lately that all it took was a couple misspoken words and their tears were flowing.  All I could see was their cold shoulders after that. 

I apologized profusely to them.  I felt so bad but everyone is under a lot of stress and are currently in the midst of a life changing situation.  And lately, homesickness has set in.  We are all full of homesickness.  But, unfortunately Aaron is not ready to navigate the stairs or the bath tub in our home.  And it is going to be a little while until he is ready. 

So with school cancelled yesterday, mom having a terrible head cold, dad being painful, and everyone being struck with homesickness...we were not very productive.  But, I have said it before and will continue to say it, today is a new day.  By 0800 this morning I had Aaron up, bowel and bladder care done, showered, breakfast made, Noah fed and showered, Abram dressed and wrestled into his back brace, and actually showered myself (I could not remember the last time I had brushed my hair.)  And, with much prodding, hopefully Aaron will try another car ride today (sometimes part of his bowel care is a trip to McDonald's.) 

I can not see God's plan for us yet.  I am blind as to why this happened to our family and I may never know why.  But I feel in my heart that there is a reason because I believe that He always has a plan.  It has made me open my eyes and my heart to my friends (well, as lovey dovey as I can get) and has brought us closer to our neighbors.  We have found a new church and the congregation has opened their arms and said countless prayers for Aaron.  I am excited for the Sunday that I can take him back to church, as is he.  We are thankful for all of the love and support from everyone.