My Little-Big Man

This week Aaron and Abram were off on an adventure of sorts.  They traveled to my brother-in-law, Ryan's.  Abram---for whatever reason---absolutely loves it at Uncle Ryan's.  He was super-duper upset with me when we left last time...crying and yelling at me that 'Mom took away his Lily' (his cousin.)  So, I set my nervousness aside and let him them both go. Aaron assured me that they would be fine (he could not have predicted that he would become ill while he was there...but that is another blog.) 

I watched them drive away in Aaron's LOUD blue truck and found myself sobbing quietly.  Why have I been so teary lately?  Abram stayed overnight at my moms a couple of nights ago (just for fun) and I felt a hole in my heart that only tears could fill.  When he was younger I would have begged and pleaded for anyone to please...pretty pretty please...take this child so I could get a mental break---so I could feel like I could breath again.  But now, when he is gone I miss him so much.  He is at the age where he does not want to hold my hand but he will walk right next to me. 

Sometimes I feel like our life is just so...so...heavy.  It feels like I have an elephant sitting on my shoulders.  Granted this weight has slowly decreased as we are settling into our "normal."  I find myself constantly making mental notes---"lift this because it exceeds Aaron's weight limit"---"taking the garbage out is my chore now"---"Abram's legs are painful today, I can carry him"---and so on.  Aaron and I have been together for ten years and lately I am constantly trying to refigure out our life.  We are learning each other all over again.  And as our children evolve into their own little people, I find myself lost.  Trying to figure out the best way to parent a five year old who still needs to be carried (thank God he weighs all of 35 pounds soakin' wet) and who still needs a lot of extra help. On top of that, trying to figure out the best way to parent a nine year old who is trapped somewhere between a child and a teen....he's a tween.

Anyway, I digressed...

While Abram and Aaron are at Uncle Ryan's (Aaron has classes this week...which is a good thing.  It gives him a little break from work)  Noah and I get to spend some quality one-on-one time together---which I am really excited for.  As Noah is getting older and more mature, I am quickly realizing how precious this time is together.

I love this picture!  Aaron texted me this photo of our little niece stealing bites of the Cowboy Casserole.  Her parents are running around in the background, trying to get supper together.  My sister in law Heather, had to work nights that night.  And what does uncle Aaron do?  He sits down and takes a picture of the little monkey!  It is a perfect moment.

Noah and I have been very busy.  Our evenings (after school) have been packed.  Filled with bike rides and parks and joking and laughing.  And then fitting in supper at our favorite (and only) local little Italian restaurant.

We even lassoed grandma Pat along with us.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am Noah's mom, not his friend.  But, we have so much fun together playing Frisbee or catch or just hanging out.  His down-to-earth, common-sensical thinking often surprises me.  When grandma asked him if he could go to the new Kung Fu Panda movie on Saturday, his reply was, "Well, I actually have to go to the shop to help dad on Saturday.  Let's make it Sunday instead."  He is definitely my little big man. 

As Noah and I are in the midst of spending quality one-on-one time together, I feel more privileged than ever to be his mom.  God gave this child to me.  How awesome is that.