A Glimpse Into the Future

After a phone call yesterday from my supervisor and talking about my return to work, I realized that I need to start to think about the future.  Right now we live by the moment, minute by minute...not even reaching day by day yet.  It hit me that I need to look to the future and figure out what in the heck we are going to do next. 

At this time last year, I would have never guessed that our little family would be where we are right now.  Last March, we just returned from a short winter vacation to a water park with the boys and were planning our normal spring plans.

Some photos from the water park last year...

And now everything has changed.

So, with the question of how do I plan my return to work hanging over my head, I realize that Aaron and I better start preparing.  Being able to work part-time has always been a blessing.  And listening to our financial advisor when we were younger has allotted us an "emergency fund" (which I urge everyone to have.)  With finances set aside and Aaron returning to work continues to be an unknown, how will me working very part time affect our family? Aaron is learning to care for himself but he is not able to fully care for our children.  My return to work is still over a month away so maybe things will be different by then.  But, what if things are not different? What then?   How will Abram be lifted onto the toilet or out of the car or into the bathtub...and so on.  Will Aaron have the stamina to help Noah with his homework and manage the after school routine and handle supper and their bedtime routine?  It is exhausting for myself to complete these tasks and I have not had part of my spine replaced.  How will we handle these daily functions?  Grandmas are always ever willing to help but they have their own lives too. 

Aaron continues to have chronic pain.  This is something that I am fearful that he may always have.  How will he deal with everyday life and pain at the same time?  It is very wearing on a person to see their loved one in such pain all of the time.  The grimaces on his face when he moves ever-so-slightly wrong.  The groans when he is sleeping.  After months of dealing with this it is starting to wear on me.  I am afraid that I am seeing a glimpse into the future.

And with that said, and so many unknowns, I feel that all I can do is count my blessings:

11.  A phone call from a very understanding supervisor.  She is someone who has been very understanding (and willing to work with me on scheduling) with everything with Abram and now with everything with Aaron.
12.  A mom/grandma who has bent over backwards for our family.
13.  A little boy with slightly reddened hair and a little boy with dark brown hair.
14.  A husband who may have a broken body but has not lost his spirit.
15.  Family members who have came together to have a benefit for us (especially aunt Deb who really went to bat for Aaron)
16.  Even though they are a pain in the butt, health insurance.  OMG, where would we be without it.
17.  Aaron's work family that have held a job for him even with so many unknowns (and with the busy season approaching.)
18.  My co-workers who have shown never ending support for our family.
19.  A pork loin from a friend...some of the most delicious meat I have ever tasted.
20.  Attempting a strawberry pie that totally did not turn out but my family ate it (without complaining.)