A New Kind of Normal

A couple of days ago we took another large leap on the path to recovery.  We ventured home...well not to our home but to my in-laws (temporarily---I hope.)  We left the hospital with my brother-in-law and father-in-law and took our dreaded van ride back to our home town.  I had envisioned stopping every 10 minutes, throwing out puke bags, and my husband sitting in the front seat...writhing in pain.  But, much to our surprise, it went just fine.  No excessive pain, no nausea, just friendly chit chat and joking around.  It was so nice to be outside of the hospital walls, words cannot describe. 

Then, a new kind of normal began for us.  I was not sure what to expect...living with my in laws...with no extra nursing care.  It was up to me to maintain our daily lives including cooking, cleaning, and laundry on top of all of my children's and husband's needs.  But, a routine was quickly established and hopefully I am meeting everyone's needs to the best of my ability. 

The biggest difference between the hospital and home is the night routine.  Ugh, I am someone who needs sleep.  At the hospital, the nurses religiously turned and repositioned Aaron.  They provided him with all of the meds that he needed.  And the orderlies cathed him.  All of these activities, with very little disturbance to me while I was some what asleep on the sleeper sofa.  Now, amidst our new kind of normal, all of these tasks are on my shoulders.  Reality slapped me in the face.  For a short amount of time, I will have to give up sleeping more than an hour or two at a time.  It is difficult for me, I will have to admit, because sleep is a valuable thing.  But it is worth the sacrifice to have my husband and I back at home (our house is literally right down the road) and our family back together again.

I used to tease Aaron about going to the bathroom every five minutes...now I am praying that he will be able to go on his own with me having to cath him.  His bowels used to be like clock work and now we have a bowel prep program that we have to do every morning to get him to go.  Sometimes, it is hard for him to feel if he has gas, has to pee, or if he has to poop.  Then bodily functions turn into a guessing game.  Is it a poop...is it a fart...  "I don't know how to help you," I find myself saying over and over.   So, the little things that I used to take for granted, like clock work pooping or peeing every five minutes, now takes twenty minutes or longer to complete. 
We used to cuddle a lot at night.  I would often times wake up snuggled in his arms.  But we cannot snuggle anymore.  Hopefully, there will be a time when we can again.  I really miss his arms around me. But, we are relearning how to cuddle together.  Usually, I am so afraid to move because I might inflict pain on him.

So, our new kind of normal has begun.  And really it is going better than I had expected.  Through all of the love and kindness of friends and family, we have learned how to cope.  We are very thankful for that.