Broken

Our family is something like a typical boring nuclear family...I think.  Aaron and I have been married for eight---almost nine ---years and in that time we had our two children, two dogs, and an assortment of cats of which we have only managed to keep one alive.  I think this all sounds pretty darn normal.  We have had our share of trials and tribulations but we have never EVER spoken of the "D" word...Divorce.

My niece, Annika (the only niece that I will ever have from my side of the family) stayed with us for a few days and it was almost like a culture shock for me.  She is from the city and is very...ummm... citified.  What I mean by "citified" is she is nine years old (Noah's age) and has a cell phone that she texts on constantly. She also has a Nintendo DSI and if I allowed it, she would be glued to 24/7.  Her life is pavement with traffic noise constantly.  A faster pace than what we are used to.  There is no digging in the mud for worms or rock pickin' in the field or goin' for tractor rides or searching for birds nests for hours on end... Her life is locked house doors and car doors, computers and video games, after school programs and constant activities.

Annika can sit and read books for hours on end.

A topic that we have tried to be very open with our children about is the fact that Annika's mom and dad are divorced.  Our kids see the way that she is pulled from one household to the next.  She lives out of suite cases and cannot wear the clothes that are from her dads at her moms (they have a lot of stupid rules.)  Noah and Abram used to ask lots of questions about the custody of Annika.  Why do people get divorced?  Do her mom and dad love each other?  Did they ever love each other?  Noah went through a stage that with every little disagreement that Aaron and I had, he would voice fears about us getting divorced.  But their questions and comments have simmered with time and maturity into understanding.

I just cannot imagine living the way Annika and her parents live!  Sometimes when I look at her, she just seems so broken.  Like her parents, who can barely be civil to each other, have torn her into two pieces.  This is her everyday life.  Squabbling parents.  Listening to her dad continuously complain about her mom.  Living by a judges order of when she can be with which parent.  It is really sad.

~~~~Now, I know that everyone has their own life's circumstances and over 50% of the population are divorced.  I am just saying how this affects my niece.  I am not trying to pass judgement on anyone.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But she seems to have adjusted well considering this is the only way of life that she has known.  And although it is not a way of life for my family, I continue to try to have understanding why they chose this for themselves.

Anyway, in the time that she had here...with our normal family...we tried to include her in some of our normal family activities.  Like going to parks...

Or just having a lazy day and vegging out in the grass...

You cannot tell by this photo that the boys were just beating on each other moments before laying in the grass.

By the end of her adventure of staying with us (we shared her with grandma Pat) she usually asks to stay longer.  Once she even asked me if she could live with us.  She brings such joy to my boys and is such a blessing to have around.  But, I know the life that she is returning to.  I just pray that she has strength while she gets pulled from one place to the next.  I hope that she does not get too broken.