My Rabbit

We have a rabbit of different sorts roaming around our house.  I noticed pea pod shells littered throughout our yard.  I could tell this rabbit suffered some disappointment after pulling out some of my carrots, seeing how little the orange root is, and then throwing them back into the garden.  He apparently does not eat the greens. 

Then, my eyes caught sight of tiny green apples---maybe picked from one of our apple trees--- leaving a trail on our front porch... like Hansel and Gretel trying to find their way home.  Some of these little green apples had nibbles marks on them.  Hmmmm....  I must have a rabbit.


Not just any old Peter Cotton Tail kind of a rabbit.  Not the kind of rabbit that a fellow blogger has been having some troubles with. A rabbit who has noticeable chocolate brown eyes, brown hair, and weighs around 35 pounds.  He bounds through the yard picking at the plants, nibbling on the vegetables and the strawberries as he goes.  Sometimes if I quietly watch him from afar... so he does not notice...he sings little made-up songs to himself about the fruits and vegetables that he sees.

It turns out that my little rabbit is really Abram.  And I am going to have a heck of a time keeping him out of the garden.

Preschool Graduate

Last week my boy graduated preschool!  Yah! 

You have to understand that this was a huge endeavor for him.  He literally cried for the first three...maybe four...months of school.  And then, one magical day, I recieved a phone call from his teacher.  "Abram is having a good day."  She will never know what those words meant to me. 

So Abram went from a potential preschool drop-out to a graduate.  Equipped with a cap and everything!

Now, our summer begins.  I will have to say that I am more excited than ever to spend the summer with my boys.  Our winter/spring has been rough and things are looking up.  Thankfully kids are very resilient.  But I am also very nervous for this summer because the boys have an endless amount of energy.  Like, I wish I could harness their energy and use it to fuel the entire planet Earth.  There you have it----no more energy crisis. 

Or, selfishly, I wish that I could abduct a portion of their energy for my own personal use.  Imagine what I could accomplish in a day!

But, unfortunately I am unable to solve one of the largest world problems (energy crisis) and I haven't invented a machine to transfer energy....yet.  So, I am working on ways to reign in their energy and channel it into anything that is useful. 

On top of our own little energy crisis (to much energy and not enough outlets) Noah---who is also a third grade graduate but is way to old to have a graduation pic taken of him--- declared that he only wants to participate in swimming and piano this summer.  Last summer I think he was in too many things and got a little burnt out.  He  is currently more interested in other hobbies like rollar blading and bike riding and he has been helping out his dad a lot.  So, I was agreeable in him only being enrolled in two formal things this summer.  Plus, we love to go to the beach and to parks and to the pool.  If the weather ever cooperates, we will still have a busy summer.

The Star Student

Wednesday has traditionally been a day for lunch with the girls.  This is one of the only normal things that I have done in the last several months.  So after a quick lunch with a good friend...sadly with the absence of the other brunette---who had much more exciting things to do...I picked up Aaron to go to Abram's preschool classroom.  Aaron has been working four hours a day and it has been going well.  He is determined to get back to "normal" as soon as possible.  But the words of the doctors will forever hang over our heads, "It takes about a year and a half to heal." A year and a half, not three months. If his rehab doctor had his way Aaron would be off for another three months.  But he finagled the surgeon and returned to work.

Next week he moves up to six hours and I will return to work.  I am excited to see how that goes but very nervous.  I miss my co-workers and my patients but I feel that my place is at home right now.  Standing by my man.  We will see how that goes.  He very rarely complains about anything.  Only when I beat it out of him.  But pain and frustration have their own faces that are easy to see.  Usually I am here to man handle the boys and tend to our house, laundry, and food but returning to work is going to alter our lives yet again.  Luckily, even though our hospital is crazy busy right now, I was able to cut back to begin with. 

Anyway, Abram was Star Student this week which was very exciting for him.  He was line leader, calender helper, and provided an afternoon treat for the other students.  Grandma Pat spent the morning in his classroom (she wanted to eat lunch with Noah but he notified us all that he is too old for that now) and ate lunch with him and the other preschoolers.  Then, Aaron and I planned to surprise him and spend part of the afternoon with him. 

Grandma Pat with Abram and little Noah playing a game at preschool.  Notice the principal in the background.  He was just stopping by to see how everything was going to visit with the preschoolers.  Oh, how I love small town schools!

Watching the children play is very...well...interesting.  The girls fighting playing with the plastic food.  The little boy, Blake, interrupting their kitchen with a phone call from a fireman because their house is burning down.  Then Lily "called the cops" because Lexi "did not put the blender back in the right spot."  It was pretty brutal.  Tempers flared and then simmered.  In a blink of an eye, they continued to play without missing a beat. 

Abram and some of his friends from preschool.

Abram generally played by himself.  He meandered around with a hot-pink, satin purse and a few pieces of plastic food in tow.  I thought Aaron would have intervened with some sort of a manly comment like, "Boys do not carry around purses" or "Put the purse away now" or something along those lines.  But, Aaron just quietly stood and watched, smiling a secretive smile to himself.  It made me wonder if he toted around a satin, bright pink purse when he was a young lad.

The star student is line leader!  How exciting!

Abram and his best bud, "Little Noah."  This kid is amazing!  He stood by Abram's side the first few turbulent months of preschool...cheering him up and just simply being his friend. 

Then clean up time rolled around.  I was astonished to watch Abram put the toys away, with out objection, when his teacher asked him to.  She did not have to prod at the children or bribe them or negotiate with them.  With one simple command, "Pick up the toys" accompanied by a short clean up song and the kids worked.  Amazing.  It was like Snow White and her little dwarfs.  I asked Abram to pick up his toys this morning and his pitched a fit.  Kicking and screaming.  Full on Jack Hammer fit.  Lily the second.  Where was Snow White with her beautiful singing voice?  Where were those dwarfs and their good work ethic?  It was more like the Exorcism than a classic cartoon.

But school has really changed him for the better.  Maybe it is a combination of age, maturity, and just being in a different environment with a set schedule by someone who is not momma.  I feel very blessed to have such a wonderful preschool to send him to.  Small town schools are a priceless commodity that is becoming more and more scarce.  In saying that, I think that I need to count some blessings...

51.  A kind God.
52.  Two amazing little boys.
53.  Aaron.  Keeping good faith even though the road is bumpy.
54.  A good job to return to.
55.  A caring community that continues to send us cards, thoughts, and prayers.
56.  Our church calling a new pastor and the pastor accepting.
57.  Supper with a few friends and relatives.  Even though there were a few awkward silences, it was a lot of fun.
58.  Spring.  One of my favorite times.
59.  A grandma willing to take our crabby kids overnight so Aaron and I could have a night together.  Just momma and dad time.
60.  A church down the road from us, of which we are not members and do not even attend their church, sending a generous gift our way.

Happy Birthday Little One

As I think back five years ago about the birth of my youngest son I am overcome with a mixture of emotions. 

Joy mixed with pain and sadness mixed with the miracle of another life created that only God himself has perfected.



The first few years of his life I questioned God's plan for Abram.  But I learned to quit questioning and to take life for what it is and not what I want it to be.



God's plan for Abram is much larger and more important than my plan, his teacher's plan, or any of his therapists plans.  So really, we can sit around a table and discuss his progress until we are blue in the face...but does it really matter?  He has come so far.  And yes, therapy sessions and back braces and surgeries and whatever else has helped him be the miraculous little stinker that he is today...but he would not be here without God guiding him.

And so with that, I can happily say, "Happy 5th birthday Abram!"


Today I feel very thankful and proud to be the mother of this little boy.  His journey has consisted of many ups and downs.  I was told once by someone (whom I cannot remember) "You can't appreciate the ups with out the downs...so get over it."  I do not know if a person ever gets "over" something, but gets through it.  Aaron will never get over his snowmobile accident.  It will effect his daily functions for the rest of his life.  He is gradually learning to work through not only the physical aspects but also the emotional.  I feel very blessed to have Aaron, Noah, and Abram in my life.  So, I think that it is time to count my blessings...

41.  Abram reaching age 5.  He proved all of his doctors and specialists wrong.
42.  Noah, who is a wonderful big brother. 
43.  A happy husband.  He has his ups and downs, good days and bad...but his spirit stays strong.  Hopefully Monday he will start working a little bit.  We are nervous but we will make it through.
44.  The snow melting (even though it snowed more today.)
45.  I know I have said it before...but mud....I love mud!
46.  Great friends who have held us up during the last few months, especially the blond and brunette.
47.  Establishing a work out routine that I can hopefully keep up with (yes I know...I never thought I would do it.)
48.  Feeling good and happy on a rainy day.
49. Being able to let go of Aaron enough to let him go to the shop on his own.
50.  Everyone who came together in our community and gave Aaron a benefit supper. 

Abrams Journey

Someone requested that I write a little post about my youngest son, Abram, and his journey.  I have been having a hard time with his "problems" lately. So, I agreed to do it because I think that it could help my mental health as well as meet this persons request.  So, here is a little peek into Abram's journey....

Oh, where do I begin?  Abram was born at 36 weeks in a small town hospital.  He had a few breathing issues and was then transferred to the NICU at a hospital that could better manage his breathing.  He spent 9 days at this hospital and then we transferred him to an Intensive Care Nursery that was a little closer to home.  He was diagnosed with Ehlers Donlos Syndrome shortly after his birth (but our insurance company would not pay for that diagnosis---so generically he is diagnosed with hypotonia.)  We were blessed enough to bring him home, which I will be forever thankful for.  He had a regimen of tube feedings and medications and doctor appts.  He has been through physical therapy and occupational therapy.  Within the first two years of his life he had two surgeries and was in five different hospitals (I have the grey hair to prove it.)



Abram in an Intensive Care Nursery a couple of weeks after he was born.
When he saw this pic a couple of weeks ago, he asked, "Am I dead in this picture?"




Abram at six months old, he had no muscle tone.  He was floppy like a rag doll.


He has always progressed well, very rarely regressing.  But, he will always have physical issues.  For instance, he has scoliosis (which in my opinion is due to having hypotonia) and has to where a back brace.

Abram's back brace is called a TLSO.  Lately, it is his arch nemesis.


He can run with the boys, but has a hard time keeping up, getting tired easily.  Those who are closest to him, know what he is capable of.  Our family has kept him very close, never really going to daycare or being with strangers.  So, when he started preschool he had a difficult time---emotionally as well as physically.  That was my fault, I admit it.  I should have better prepared him for this huge transition. 

First day of preschool, it was a grim day.

Parent-teacher conferences rolled around, and his teacher tip-toed around the issue of his disability.  She is an amazing teacher, and I could tell she was very nervous.  "Don't be nervous.  Just tell us what you think he needs and we will do our best to meet in the middle," I told her, my husband by my side rolling his eyes. I could tell he was thinking "Oh crap, here she goes..." He gets embarrassed when I get a little bucky with people, but I am Abram's advocate and I will do what is best for my son.  It does not matter what the neurologist thought (whom I fired) or what the geneticist thought (I also fired her) because my son is not, nor will I ever allow him to be, a science experiment.  Sitting in numerous doctors offices, having complete strangers examine and oogle over my little boy has taught me that.

Surprisingly, I really valued what the teacher thought.  The look in her eyes told me she really cares about my son.  He is not a statistic to her.  He is her preschooler and she is advocating for him.  Abram will have struggles for the rest of his life.  But, he is very fortunate to be able to do the things that he can.  He has worked very hard for his accomplishments, nothing has been handed to him.

It is easy to make a quick judgement or an unintentionally rude comment about someone who is "different."  I have learned that people do not think before speaking (example:  someone who I love dearly, told me that my son looked "retarded" when he was little---she clearly did not think prior to speaking.)  Please think of little Abram and his journey to reach four years if unkind thoughts drift into your head or out your lips about someone who is different.  Then, say a quick prayer for them, because they need all of the help that they can get. 

Noah has always helped to guide his little brother.  He is a vital part of Abram's life.

"Kindness is the language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see"---Mark Twain